You Can Fully Recover from Relationship OCDOct 23, 2023
No matter how bad your anxiety or OCD has been, recovery is possible!
I struggled with anxiety in relationships ever since I was a young girl. I was insecure and didn't feel confident in making friends, I always assumed the worst and didn't think they liked me, This continued as I got older with friendships, but also in romantic relationships. After some infidelity in a long-term relationship, I unknowingly started avoiding relationships in my 20's and 30's, I didn't feel attraction or found something wrong with everyone I dated.
It wasn't until my late 30's that I realized how much fear and anxiety was impacting my life - I was still single and really wanted a husband & family. ROCD hit me hard as soon as I decided to stop avoiding and got into a serious relationship with someone who wanted commitment. It took me about 6 months to realize has morphed from anxiety into OCD, and to find the right help (after trying talk therapy, psychotherapy, IFS, hypnotherapy, a relationship anxiety expert, and more), and ERP was the game changer for me.
As hard as working through my anxiety and avoidance was, and it took time to retrain my brain to use helpful responses (ERP) versus unhelpful ones (compulsions & avoidance), I'm on the other side and it was well worth it! I started helping others in 2018 because I saw so many people struggling and wanted others to experience the relief I had!
Here's What I've Learned as Someone Who Is Recovered & Who Helps Others Recover...
- You Have to Face Your Fears. Letting fear dictate your behavior only makes fear worse and trains your brain & body's anxiety response to become stronger!
- ERP Works Every Single Time, when done properly. I have found that some ERP Specialists have learned, and therefore teach it, better than others. If your teacher isn't a good fit, find another one!
- ERP and Other Recovery Skills Need CONSISTENCY. ERP is a "way of life" for me, and this is how I have STAYED in the recovery stage for years (what I call Lifetime Recovery). Just like physical health requires daily habits like a good diet and exercise, mental health requires daily habits too!
- Most Therapists Aren't Properly Trained. In school, therapists only learn a little about a lot, and only a little about OCD. Unless they seek it, or work with someone who teaches them OCD skills they just don't know and so OCD is drastically underdiagnosed and mistreated! I personally worked with 4 of them, and luckily they were good, but they missed things that would have gotten me better, which I had to learn on my own! I teach my clients these missing pieces in The REAL Method for Lifetime OCD Recovery!
- Know What to Expect. When in therapy, they helped me with what was going on in that moment, but when I asked about the future, they just said "OCD won't go away, you'll manage it." They didn't tell me how to eliminate it from my life, which I eventually had to do on my own. I still have OCD, as uncertainty and doubt is part of life and if I start doing compulsions again I know I'll go down the rabbit hole, but I've just learned how to stop from doing them 100% and OCD doesn't attach to things anymore!
- Compulsions Are More Than You Think. I was never taught what all of mine were, so I kept relapsing. As soon as figured these out (on my own and via coaching others), I stopped them all and OCD was gone. Most people have 15-20 of them, but they're only aware of 10 or so. This is why they don't stop them and continue to struggle.
I am proof that you can fully recover from OCD and stay in the recovery stage! I am now happily married, pregnant, and so proud of my journey! Unfortunately, a lot of people lose faith in ERP (or they're scared to start), due to unsuccessful attempts, but the teacher is key to your success!
I've never seen ERP NOT work, when done properly, so join one of our programs today and learn how YOU can recover and stop struggling with anxiety in your relationships.
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